i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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