Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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