that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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