Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize