She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
my liver is dry heaving
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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