I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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