the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
