Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
