After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
