I will die if light touches me.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize