I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
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she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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