I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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