So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
