Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
