I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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