Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
