Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
