i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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