nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
