At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize