i cant cry in cvs. not again.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
