Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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