Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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