Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
