Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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