Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
