Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
