just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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