i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
