He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
