But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
