Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
