Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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