last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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