bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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