I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
