don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
