everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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