There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize