You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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