Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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