Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize