party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
