Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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