Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
