Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
