how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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