If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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