shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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