dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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