Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
