Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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