Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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