so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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