i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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