Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
