It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
