It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize