How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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