i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
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How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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